I’ve felt some inner conflict for a while about my blog. I love my blog, I’m proud of my blog, and I love my blog friends. The conflict comes from me not feeling like a success as a blogger. I’ve been at this now since September 2009, and yet I see SO many bloggers who’ve been blogging WAY less time than I have, with WAY more readers than I have. This gets me down sometimes and I have to remind myself: I started this blog without any expectations, never anticipating I would ever have anyone reading or commenting, and I started it for ME. I constantly have to remind myself. When I began this journey, it was to track my reading and I started it for no one else.
What I’ve realized is that I’m not like a lot of other bloggers, and I’m okay with that. While I’m dedicated to my blog, I certainly don’t blog every day like many people do, and I don’t participate in a single meme. Why? Because I’m just being me. And that’s okay. For me, my blog is mostly about book reviews and not much else. So what if these things mean I don’t have a thousand followers? Do I have dreams of someday reaching that? Of course I do! And I still feel down sometimes and discouraged, but I’m trying not to. I read kind of slowly (usually 3-6 books a month) so I can’t do as many reviews as other people, but that’s okay, isn’t it? Some people can speed read, but not me. I prefer to be able to slowly read a book and I often flip back pages just to double check on details. I’m accepting this now, too. I’m just trying to be genuine and true to me. I can’t compete and that’s okay. It’s not a competition. Maybe I’m on the outskirts of the blogging world, but this is my blog and my world and I’m proud of what I have accomplished. I need to focus on the things I have rather than the things I have not.
I don’t know exactly what the purpose of this post is. Much of it isn’t coherent. Ah, well. Maybe I’m just trying to get my feelings out and say that just because I’m not posting every single day doesn’t mean I’m not around – I am. I’m here and I plan on staying awhile.