Erm, was I supposed to get my kid a card for Valentine’s Day this year? Because I just barely got my husband one, and I sure as shit didn’t MAKE it (I got it at the Dollar Store).
Was his birthday party supposed to be themed? Because I literally baked a cake and called it a day. Not a decoration was to be seen, and the cake looked like Caleb himself had made it. Literally. That shit was lopsided. Oops?
I mean… am I doing this wrong?
We don’t make elaborate crafts. I never made homemade baby food. Holiday decor is kept to a minimum because GRABBY CALEB HANDS! I don’t do themed… anything. Caleb’s yellow and gray elephant nursery was the last coherent themed thing I’ve put together since his birth. The house is usually a mess, even though it stresses me out. His clothes are always dirty, which is why we buy most of it from Goodwill, anyway. Fancy kid outfits are NOT a thing in this family, and I’m lucky on any given day when we find a shirt to match whichever clean pair of shorts is left in his dresser drawers… if the laundry even MADE it to the dresser that week, that is. My pictures are usually blurry because I take them on my phone and we don’t buy new toys every week because Lord almighty, the child has plenty enough as is. Sometimes I raise my voice and forget to talk gently, call my kid a jerk when he’s being one, and lose my patience with the tantrums.
Pinterest mothers… I salute you. You seem to have it all together. Your kids are always impeccably dressed, and I bet you’ve never yelled. You think of creative crafts and throw adorable parties. I envy you sometimes because you are fantastic mothers. I aspire to be more like you one day, but a Pinterest mother, I am not. No matter how hard I try, I flippin’ hate DIYs and crafts. I couldn’t care less about toddler style because my kid looks cute in whatever he’s wearing and my baking skills are very limited to say… boxed cake mix. Our photos are not polished, Caleb doesn’t get bathed every day, and I know he is no angel. I am not in a mommy clique and Caleb seldom goes on play dates. In fact, I usually SEE those mommy cliques here at the library when I’m working and my son’s at home until his dad goes to work.
I guess all of this is simply to say… I am not a perfect mom. Maybe you’re not a perfect mom either. Maybe you do some of these things that I don’t do, and golly, I really wish I had the energy / creativity / whatever to do some of these things too… but I don’t. And that’s okay. And whatever you are or are not doing is okay, too.
Do your best. Love on your kids. Be there for them. Pick them up when they fall. Hold them when they cry. Forgive them when they’re wrong. Encourage them to learn. Push them to have dreams. Wish for nothing but the best for them. Pray for their happiness. Let them go when they need you to, but welcome them back with open arms when they need you again.
Bake a fancy cake if you want to. Have those fabulous themed parties and make amazing crafts.
Or don’t. Do those things if YOU want to, but don’t feel like you have to. You’re still a good mom, whether your cakes look like shit or not (mine most definitely do). You do you, Mama. You do you.
You don’t have to be a Pinterest mom to be a good mom. You don’t have to do certain things or act a certain way. Dress your kid in Gucci or dress your kid in Goodwill; it doesn’t really matter. No two kids are the same and so no two moms can be the same, either. Let’s just be the best we can and know that we’re enough. Know that you don’t have to compare. Know that you’re working hard. Know that it’s okay not to be perfect. I talk about this a lot because sometimes I find it hard to realize that I am enough, just the way I am.
I promise I’m working on it.