As a self-proclaimed fall addict, horror lover, and Halloween junkie… I start counting down until the next Halloween as soon as the current one ends. It’s my favorite day of the entire year, and is just a culmination of all the things I love about fall in general. It’s my day, people. It’s better than my birthday, and more exciting than Christmas.
As pumpkin spice everything and fall memes start creeping into my Facebook feed and life, I can’t help but be happy.
Some people live for the summer, but I relish the fall in all of its chilly yet cozy glory. In my heart, it’s fall all year round. I burn “fall scented” candles throughout the year, and every single one of my many wax melts are of the cozy, “bakery” variety that most reserve for the best of seasons… fall. Smells of apple, vanilla, pumpkin, and baked goods waft throughout my house no matter the temperature outside. Horror movies are also the main source of entertainment for Jerry and me all year round too, and not just when scary movies are in for the season. We watch them every weekend we get the chance, and I even keep my Halloween “monster” dolls on display 365 days a year.
So even though in my mind, it’s always fall… I anxiously await the time each year when the rest of the world agrees and the temperatures dip to my idea of cool, breezy perfection — when the tips of our noses get chilly, but we don’t even mind. And even though technically fall doesn’t begin until late September, it’s game on for me when it hits the first of the month… though I MAY have put out a few decorations last week when the arrival of fall decor excited me a bit too much at the store.
When I think of the fall, I just can’t help but be happy.
I love the colors of the leaves, burning orange in the sky. I love the chill in the air that makes us bundle up in tall boots and chunky sweaters. I love hunkering down under blankets while the flicker of a candle lights up the room and I sip on hot chocolate. I love the hay bales and pumpkins and being greeted by seasonal decor wherever I walk into. I love looking at my calendar and quickly filling in the weekend squares with whatever fall festivals or events I can find, and squeezing them all in before the season is sadly over. I love standing in line for the haunted hayrides, bobbing up and down in the cold as I anxiously await the laughter and jumps of fright that are coming my way. I love prowling the pumpkin patch, searching for one that’s big enough, but not too big to carry. I love the chill in the air and the crunch at my feet and the sense of spookiness that comes with the season. I love chili and baked goods and hot soups on cold nights. I love cringing at Hocus Pocus every year with my besties because even though we could recite it by heart, that corny movie is still on our to watch list, every. single. year. I love re-watching Halloween, Scream, and all the horror classics, but also watching as many new horror films as I can with Jerry leading up to the big day. I love reading tons of campy horror novels to set the mood all season long. I love donuts and cider and s’mores by the fire. I love the smell, the air, and long walks in the cool evenings under the glow of the moon.
If I could live in fall all year long, I would.
This year started off hard for my little family. The baby we lost was supposed to be here this fall and so… I still feel a little bit empty. But remember that hope I mentioned? It grows in the fall when I am happy and I am reminded that life ends but then begins again and again whenever the leaves fall and then grow. I will scour the stores for the perfect costume for Caleb. I will dress him in it and we will trick or treat in the dark on my absolute favorite day. The little feet shuffling in the street – of him and my nephews and all the other neighborhood kids – will remind me to have hope and to be happy. Because how could I not? This season comes back every single year. At the end of the night, I will start my countdown again until the next fall season, the next Halloween. I will comb through Caleb’s candy as I sneak out some of my favorites (Kit Kats? Hand ’em over!). I will smile at his chocolate face and be grateful that I have him. I will wait anxiously as I pack away my seasonal decor until I can use it once more. I will feel hopeful that what is meant to be will be, that in time, a new life may be begin again, just like the trees always do when the leaves grow back.
And I will feel happy that I get to experience it all over again next September when the leaves begin to drop.