One little word I’d been longing to hear since before he was even born and he finally went and did it. Two weeks ago, I looked straight at him, as I’d done for months, and said “Dada” again and again and he shocked me by finally saying it back. The next day — Halloween — it was “Mamama!” Again and again, he’d say it but it had no meaning. Nonetheless, I was thrilled, delighted, and shocked when he finally spoke his first words, both on the same weekend. Today, it finally had meaning and to me, it meant even more than in the weeks before. Sitting on Jerry’s lap, he reached his arms out and looked me straight in the face while saying it: “Mama.” In fact, he did this yesterday too, but thinking it was just a fluke, I didn’t react much. Today there is proof… he knows who I am: Mama.
I remember one day when I was still pregnant and sitting at my desk at work. The few days leading up to this particular day, I thought I might have felt movements but I couldn’t be certain. This day, however, I was finally sure: my boy was in there and he was kicking me, moving around, letting me know he was there. I remember smiling so big at my desk because no one else had a clue. It was just me and him and no one else around. I kind of miss those kicks. I kind of miss those days when it was just the two of us and we communicated in our own secret way: he’d kick and I’d sing and then he’d kick some more.
There are so many moments that feel like pure magic.
Like last week when he decided, out of nowhere, that he was done with the baby seat in the bath. He sat straight up and out of it and that was that – no more baby seat in the tub, another baby gadget to be packed away. Growing, growing, growing.
Maybe these moments aren’t quite magic since all the babies before him have done these exact things, but to me they are. To me, they are the greatest thing to happen until he goes and does the next thing that swells my heart up about a hundred times. The time he first smiled, the time he first laughed, the time he first rolled to his side in his crib.
I want to always remember how I felt when he did these things for the first time. I want to always remember how magical these moments were. One day when he is grown, I will remember. I will look at him and smile at the grown man who stole my heart all over again with just one little word: “Mama.”